Learn the Impact of Childhood Trauma on Adult Relationships
Let’s start with the reality: relationships are a fundamental human desire. We are social creatures, even when we prefer to believe we are not.
Even if what we want out of a relationship differs—and even if some of us are more introverted than others–it’s natural to crave close relationships with other people.
For those of us who have experienced childhood trauma, there’s often an added layer of difficulty in the pursuit of healthy adult relationships. One trauma survivor might isolate despite wanting to form connections with others. Another might find themselves in a pattern of intense, but unhealthy, relationships.
As a childhood trauma survivor, you can ask yourself how does childhood trauma affect relationships? You can still build and maintain healthy relationships. Catalina Behavioral Health’s trauma experts are here to help you through trauma recovery, which can include the development of interpersonal skills.
So, how does childhood trauma have affects on your relationships in adulthood? Let’s discuss some of the ways unresolved trauma from early life can impact adult relationships first. Then, we’ll talk about possible causes of childhood trauma and the healing options offered at our facilities.
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Common Challenges in Interpersonal Relationships Among Childhood Trauma Survivors
Identifying the patterns that affect your interpersonal connections negatively is often the first step toward addressing them. As a childhood trauma survivor, you might resonate with the following challenges.
The Typical Effects of Childhood Trauma on Communication
If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, it is very possible that your communication skills have been affected. This may manifest in various ways. You might notice that you:
- Shut down or avoid conflict.
- Feel too anxious to talk to anyone.
- Have a hard time being direct or concise.
- Struggle to ask others for emotional support.
- “Ghost” people instead of having difficult conversations.
- Have trouble expressing your needs or boundaries clearly.
- Feel you are overreacting when you are upset, rather than seeing your emotions as valid.
Reactions like these could stem from childhood maltreatment. For example, if you have experienced verbal or emotional abuse, it can make it hard to speak your mind or feel confident in what you have to say.
Low Self-Esteem
Childhood trauma can affect how you feel about yourself, others, and the world. Childhood trauma and low self-esteem are connected. That said, it is critical to remember that this is not a life sentence. If left unaddressed, low self-esteem may lead to challenges such as negative self-talk (e.g., “I’m not worthy”), which can impact your relationships.
Codependency or Hyper-Independence
Ideally, a successful relationship will involve interdependence. Rather than being overly reliant on others (or being unable to rely on others at all), interdependence refers to a healthy balance where individuals can support one another while maintaining their sense of self.
Childhood wounds can lead to both codependency and hyperindependence:
- If you’re hyper-independent, it can be hard to let romantic partners in. You might leave relationships when other people start to get too close, or you might avoid them. It might feel like relationships threaten your autonomy, and it might be hard to provide emotional support or seek it from others.
- On the other hand, you may experience relationship patterns characterized by codependency and enmeshment. Your sense of self and emotions may rely on the relationship or the other person. You may do anything to avoid the relationship ending.
Both sides of the coin get in the way of healthy emotional bonds. It is important to feel like your own person and maintain your sense of self in relationships.
However, there should also be a sense of security and mutual support. It should feel possible to bring up and work through hardships in relationships without fear of abandonment getting in the way.
Insecure Attachment Styles
Even though childhood maltreatment isn’t the only possible cause of insecure attachment, childhood experiences can influence your attachment style. Largely, attachment theory focuses on how caregiver-child relationships affect the way you go on to develop relationships with others.
There are four main attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized. If you do not have secure attachment, it can be more challenging to trust others, maintain healthy relationships, or establish interdependence.
It is possible for your attachment style to change. You can heal attachment wounds and have healthy adult romantic relationships, even if insecure attachment patterns have affected your partnerships up until this point.
Emotion Regulation and Childhood Trauma
A lot of us were not taught emotional regulation skills in childhood. Even so, childhood trauma can create an added layer that makes it even harder to regulate emotions. This can affect all areas of your life, including intimate relationships. Emotion regulation is a learned skill, and
Mental Health Conditions
People who have experienced childhood abuse and other forms of childhood trauma are at an increased risk of mental health conditions. The following are known to affect childhood trauma survivors disproportionately.
- Anxiety disorders.
- Depression.
- Eating disorders.
- Personality disorders.
- Bipolar disorder.
- Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
- Complex PTSD (C-PTSD).
- Substance abuse.
If left untreated, these conditions can affect relationships and your overall quality of life.
The Most Well Known Causes of Childhood Trauma
Childhood trauma refers to any traumatic event that occurs during childhood. Examples of traumatic events a person might experience in childhood include:
- Childhood sexual abuse.
- Physical abuse occurring in childhood.
- Verbal or emotional abuse occurring in childhood.
- Serious physical or mental illness affecting yourself or a family member.
- Witnessing intimate partner violence.
- Physical or emotional neglect.
- Loss of a close loved one.
- Natural disasters.
- Bullying.
Learning about the possible causes of childhood trauma may help you identify them in yourself. Complex childhood trauma, which refers to repeated or ongoing trauma in early life, may come with additional psychological effects.
What is the Healing Process for Childhood Trauma Survivors?
Healing from childhood trauma is multi-faceted. Self-awareness, therapy, and seeking the right relationships can all be important components of the process. If you’re reading this, you are likely already part of the way there.
You’re aware that past trauma affects your present life and adult relationships. This is a positive thing: Once you’ve identified the impacts of trauma, you can target them directly.
Common Therapy Goals for Childhood Trauma Survivors
Working with a mental health professional is strongly recommended for those who have experienced trauma. They can help you work toward goals such as:
- Setting and enforcing boundaries.
- Creating a toolkit of healthy coping mechanisms.
- Developing a positive inner dialogue (positive self-talk).
- Using communication and problem-solving skills.
- Being able to trust yourself.
These goals can benefit all parts of a person’s life, including romantic partnerships. Many trauma survivors will also discuss things like what a healthy relationship looks like and what they want in a relationship in therapy.
Call Catalina for Trauma Treatment Support Today
Catalina Behavioral Health believes in health and healing for all trauma survivors. We have a full continuum of care. This includes both inpatient and outpatient treatment options for individuals who have experienced early life trauma.
We know better than anyone that it’s possible for childhood trauma survivors to heal. Our programs will help you work toward sustainable adult relationships, among other goals that help you get to where you want to be.
Please contact Catalina to learn more about our treatment programs today. When you call our confidential admissions line, our team will be there to verify your insurance coverage, help you start the intake process, or answer your questions.
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FAQs Regarding Childhood Trauma and Relationships
Can childhood trauma survivors have healthy adult relationships?
Yes. Childhood trauma survivors can and do have healthy, fulfilling relationships in adulthood.
What kind of therapy helps child trauma survivors?
Therapies used for adult childhood trauma survivors often include:
- Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy.
- Dialectical behavior therapy.
- Attachment-based therapy.
- Relational therapy.
Catalina Behavioral Health uses a combined approach, employing multiple therapy types. All clients at our center get personalized treatment plans to help them through their unique healing journey.
What are the four main things childhood abuse deeply affects in adults?
Childhood abuse can affect all aspects of a person’s life. These include:
- Mental health. Childhood trauma survivors often experience emotional dysregulation and are at a higher risk of mental health conditions.
- Physical health. In addition to mental health outcomes, trauma can affect your physical body. Research shows that survivors of childhood abuse are at an increased risk of some chronic physical health conditions.
- Relationships. Early life experiences with other people, such as caregivers, tend to affect how we relate to and connect with others later in life.
- Finances. People who survive childhood maltreatment (especially in multiple forms) are more likely to live in poverty.
Don’t look at any of these things as something permanent. Seeking help and healing can improve your overall well-being and change the course of your life.