The Origins of Trauma-Associated Narcissistic Symptoms
If you or a loved one have developed narcissistic traits like self-importance, demanding attention or special treatment, and being unable to empathize with others, you know how hard it can be to form relationships at work and in your personal life.
And if you (or they) have gone through childhood trauma, there’s a chance that these early experiences are causing such symptoms. But the real question is this: can co-occurring narcissism and trauma be treated?
The answer is a resounding, yes, and even the most difficult cases of trauma-associated narcissism can be treated. It involves addressing thoughts and beliefs, as well as underlying trauma.
At Catalina Behavioral Health, we specialize in therapies effective in treating both Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and trauma. By using effective, personalized treatments, we have seen that there is hope for even severe cases of NPD.
To get started, let’s take a look at the narcissism-trauma connection and what treatment might look like. And remember, we are here for support by confidential call at any time.
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What Does Narcissism Look Like?
At face value, narcissism is a negative personality trait. Left unchecked, narcissistic abuse causing these traits can become Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a mental illness that is challenging to treat.
Some early signs of narcissism include the need to belittle others, be the center of attention, and selfishness. These narcissistic traits often damage relationships because narcissists tend to put themselves first. Narcissism is a form of mental and emotional abuse.
However, narcissism rooted in trauma often comes from tense, unhealthy relationships with family members. One diagnostic challenge is identifying narcissism separately from other traits or conditions resulting from poor parental relationships. Co-occurring mental health issues also complicate diagnosis.
The Most Common Trauma-Associated Narcissistic Traits
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V), the primary diagnostic tool for behavioral health professionals, there are nine diagnostic criteria associated with narcissism.
You must display at least five of these symptoms to receive a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
Grandiose Self-Image
People with NPD have an exaggerated sense of self. When this is the main narcissistic trait stemming from abuse, it may be called overt or grandiose narcissism.
This grandiose sense of self causes narcissists to exaggerate accomplishments or hold themselves to ridiculously high standards they cannot possibly achieve. People with grandiose narcissism may also lack empathy toward others and have a high sense of entitlement.
Feelings of Superiority
Narcissists typically feel they are better than the people around them. They are more attractive, intelligent, successful, etc. Narcissists may avoid people who are not deemed “worthy” in their eyes and they may talk down to others.
Sense of Entitlement
Narcissists believe the people around them should also treat them as if they are important. They may have an inflated sense of self-worth (authentic or not), expect an unreasonable level of favorable, and become angry when others do not cater to their wants and needs. Narcissists may also use their manipulative tendencies to get what they want.
Fantasizing
People with NPD may fantasize about having beauty, love, intelligence, power, success, or self-fulfillment. These fantasies might shape their reality, how they act, and the decisions they make. It’s a form of self-enhancement that is believed, regardless of the reality.
Need to Feel Admiration
Narcissists may seem standoffish, but they deeply care about how others think and feel towards them. They may not accept criticism well, struggle with self-esteem and self-doubt, and are often overly critical of themselves. People with vulnerable narcissism tend to be sensitive to rejection.
Narcissists may also fish for compliments. This need for excessive admiration comes from an underlying vulnerability. They have a fragile ego and a fragile sense of self, so they may not feel confident in who they are. Narcissists seek out the approval of others as a coping mechanism instead.
Feeling Jealous
Narcissists often feel envious of people who have things they do not, especially success. They might diminish or belittle what others have achieved, or experience mood swings when they don’t think life is “fair”. It’s also not uncommon for narcissists to believe other people should be jealous of them.
Lack of Empathy
Often, narcissists view the feelings and needs of others as weakness. They won’t return kindness or show interest in others. Narcissists may also say mean things to people, regardless of how much it will hurt them. Often, they do not accept responsibility for how their actions may hurt others.
Arrogance
Some signs of arrogance include patronizing behavior like talking down to others and making them feel like they are less. Narcissists may also act disdainful or snobbish. This self-absorption keeps the people around them at a distance.
A Willingness to Exploit Others
Narcissists will consciously or unconsciously take advantage of the people around them. They also tend to form friendships and close relationships with people who feed into this and boost their self-esteem.
The Link Between Traumatic Events and Narcissistic Tendencies
There is a strong link between narcissism, childhood trauma, and ‘extreme’ parenting styles. Parents on both ends of the parenting spectrum can cause narcissistic traits in children.
Overprotective, “helicopter parenting” has a risk of causing narcissism because the child develops an inflated sense of self-importance. They do not have to learn to regulate their emotions or take care of themselves because their parental figure does these things for them.
Narcissistic tendencies also develop when a parental figure is highly critical or hard to please. The child develops feelings of shame and insecurity that dominate their childhood. This causes low self-esteem that hinders emotional development and results in narcissistic behavior.
What Kinds of Trauma Cause Narcissism?
Early trauma rooted in neglect and lack of support during development can cause Narcissistic Personality Disorder. It’s also possible for parents who are narcissists themselves to pass on their negative personality traits to their children, who are impressionable and mirror what they see. This creates a cycle of narcissism and traumatic experiences that continue to be passed down until someone breaks the cycle.
When parents are overly critical or unsupportive, the child develops self-esteem issues. They may work hard to please their parent. When it inevitably fails, the child feels they are not good enough. Physical and sexual abuse can also cause narcissism.
Trauma from neglect or abandonment also causes narcissism. This trauma-related mental health condition is rooted in questions about why their parent, who is supposed to provide love and care, did not think they were good enough to stick around. Many emotional factors are at play here.
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Narcissistic Personality Traits vs Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Some people with narcissistic tendencies are diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). One of the obstacles to reaching a diagnosis of Narcissistic Personality Disorder is that they do not put their narcissism on full display. They may be less willing to admit traits of narcissism or be honest with the person who is diagnosing them.
There are also other traits narcissists exhibit that are not on the diagnostic list. For example, severe depression related to rejection or failure, hypersensitivity to criticism, avoiding situations where failure is possible, avoiding vulnerability, and perfectionism.
Diagnosis often starts with mediational analysis aimed at creating a personalized healthcare plan. Individualized personality disorder treatment is essential for teaching a narcissist to meet their own needs, set healthy boundaries, accept the boundaries of others, and act with empathy.
Breaking the Cycles of Trauma and Narcissism
Often, children with a narcissistic parent do not have a healthy model for the parent-child relationship. If you choose to have a child before addressing narcissistic traits, there’s a risk of mimicking what was learned during adverse childhood events.
This creates a cycle of emotional abuse that may be passed down through families. Further emotional pain and psychological abuse can only be avoided by deciding to seek treatment and break the cycle.
How is Narcissistic Personality Disorder Treated?
Trauma-associated narcissistic personality disorder stems from deep-seated beliefs learned in childhood. A combination of self-reflection and talk therapy to modify behaviors is one of the most effective treatments.
Other elements of an effective treatment plan include rebuilding relationships, developing support networks, and practicing self-care. Self-care is critical for building self-worth.
Therapies That Benefit Narcissistic Personality Disorder
When treating narcissism that stems from trauma, it’s important to reflect on narcissistic behaviors, address beliefs stemming from the parent-child relationship, and treat post-traumatic symptoms. Some of the most common therapies effective for narcissistic features include:
- Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is recommended for clients who have negative thoughts and beliefs surrounding narcissistic abuse. You’ll learn to challenge these negative thought patterns, ultimately changing the way that you think and respond to certain situations.
- Trauma-focused cognitive behavioral therapy helps process painful and traumatic memories related to trauma. You’ll understand how these memories affect thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and process them in a way that gives you more control.
- Role-playing is a good way for narcissists to practice social interactions and how the respond to others. It helps you practice empathy and understanding.
- Family therapy might be recommended for clients with narcissism and strained family relationships. Addressing past abuse can be painful, but cathartic.
- Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is a coping strategy used to challenge distorted beliefs related to narcissistic abuse. It teaches stress tolerance, emotional regulation, and mindfulness.
- Eye movement and reprocessing (EMDR) is a therapeutic process that involves using eye movements to reprocess painful memories. This can be beneficial for people who have repressed memories of their trauma that cause symptoms without remembering the abuse.
- Group therapy – Many individuals who go through narcissistic abuse as a child share similar experiences. Working with other people can help you see how the abuse may have shaped development. It also encourages social connection, something that people who undergo narcissistic abuse struggle with.
The most effective course of treatment is going to depend on the individual. Your specific narcissistic traits, how trauma has affected you, and other factors must be taken into consideration.
Self-awareness is also important, as this allows you to reflect on how narcissistic abuse has affected you and your actions. By being honest about what you’d like to change, staying committed to the healing process becomes easier.
Dual Diagnosis Treatment Options
One of the complications of treating narcissistic personality disorder is that it coincides with other conditions. Post-traumatic stress disorder, borderline personality disorder, personality disorders, anxiety, depression, body dysmorphic disorder, and substance abuse are common co-occurring conditions.
At Catalina, we offer dual diagnosis across all levels of care through our inpatient and outpatient programs. We complete a full assessment of your condition before personalizing mental health treatment for you. With this individualized approach, there is the best chance of long-term recovery from NPD and trauma.
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Get Help Managing Trauma-Associated Narcissism at Catalina
Narcissism rooted in trauma can be challenging to treat, but there is hope. If you or a loved one are struggling with narcissistic personal traits, reach out to Catalina Behavioral Health today. We provide a safe, welcoming, and judgment-free environment to discuss narcissism and trauma.
No matter the severity of symptoms, you or your loved one can heal. Call us confidential for support options today.
